Resurrection (WARNING: If you are a devout Christian. You will not like this)

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Goooooood Mooorrrnninngg!

To get the ball rolling on this ressurection post I’d like to do a little compare and contrast piece between myself and Jesus. Now I know what you’re thinking. This kid keraaazzzzzzeeee. Well…. you might be right but here goes. WARNING: The following may or may not be just as inaccurate a record of history as the bible.

Jesus took a hiatus due to lifting a heavy cross up a hill. I have been out of blog writing action due to lifting heavy weights a lot and sleeping. Jesus then fell asleep in a cave wearing a hat made of roses. Ive been falling asleep on the couch wearing a sleeveless hoody, watching scooby doo. Jesus grew an incredible beard. I am not able to due to the fact I have to shave everyday as an employee of a 5 star hotel and also due to the fact…… I am unable to. In Spanish you pronounce Jesus, HEY SUS! I am currently learning Spanish. Jesus wore toga/rope type getup on a daily basis. I once went out on Cavil Ave, Surfer’s Paradise wearing nothing but a bedsheet. Jesus turned water into wine. I turn…. workers into….whiners… okay I’m just gunna quit while I’m ahead.

It’s plain to see that I am Jesus like in nearly every way and therefore you, the readers of this blog, are my disciples. As my disciples it is your right and my obligation to make you smarter and entertain you. Recently I feel I have been letting the team down. I think you have still been learning…. e.g. The workout the other day where I tested you on the names of the various barbell movements and you had to do 10,000,000 burpees. That was hilarious. I heard some of you nearly vomited. lul. Classic. Now its time to resurrect this blog and re-kindle the flame/excitement. What better way to do this than to introduce the biggest ever… out of three…. to the clock challenges…. we shall call it……

TO THE CLOCK CHALLENGE #3!!!!

Genius I know.

I wanna say check this blog every Friday afternoon for more updates. But like Jesus hanging on the cross waiting for the lord to save him, I can’t be confident this will happen. But I can promise you WEEKLY posts! So if you havn’t already, sign yourself to get this blog is sent to your email. I don’t even know when I’m going to be able to update. So an email notification is going to help me help you to “lol” all over your desk……

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The ongoing creation of this blog ebs and flows like the great river styx but if you bath in it regularly you, like achilles himself will could become invincible.

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As far as smart stuff is concerned have a look at this.. You all work sitting down i.e. in hip flexion and therefore probably have some form of hyperlordosis due to shortened hip flexors which could be making your bad stiff and sore.

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To The Clock, unofficial training program of “The Warriors”

Until next week suckers! Can you DIG IT!?

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One thought on “Resurrection (WARNING: If you are a devout Christian. You will not like this)

  1. eurokylie says:

    There’s another biblical figure that is perhaps a more accurate representation of your character….and that’s Judas.

    For example, regarding July Debris you once said “it will be a great test of mental fortitude and if you are ever going to wuss out of anything this will be it. By the same token, the feeling upon completion of something like this is very unique and satisfying.” – (To the Clock Blog 14 June 2012).

    But you betrayed all that trusted you by pulling out at the 11th hour… leaving their broken bodies writhing around Crossfit 121, cursing your name.

    Shame on you, Judas.

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